Archive for July, 2012

Men: Stop Washing Your Hands After You Drain!

Posted: July 31, 2012 by Dave B. in Health and Fitness, Life
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This little guy is just learning the ropes.

You are getting dirtier by washing your hands; especially if you enjoy an automatic flushing urinal at work.

Ahhhh, urine.  So many uses; so little time.  People used to use urine to clean, it’s tough on stains and even said to assist in alleviating athlete’s foot symptoms.

Urine is sterile.

Yes, it’s sterile.  It’s clean.  It won’t make you sick (although according to survival manuals it is not recommended for drinking due to its salt content.)

(See this link to Wiki’s Urine Facts)

So men, why, oh why do we wash our hands after visiting the urinal?

The truth is, unless your just a dirty person (which many of you are), the faucet handle is more germy than your genitalia.

As a matter of fact, there are a lot of dirtier things than your genitalia in your office.

You’d be better off washing your hands after touching your keyboard, break room sink or elevator button.

Just walk in the bathroom with your hands (and head) held high, pee, then leave in the same manner.  Don’t be influenced by your disgusted coworker’s glance, it’s he who is disgusting!

Embrace your urine, it’s probably one of the cleanest things you’ll come in contact with today.

For the tough guys that have the sticker of the cartoon character pissing on something they don’t like on the back of their truck; sorry hero.  Calvin is actually cleaning the item that you so despise.

Bold statement Dude, really tough, but piss is clean.
Photo courtesy: bumperwars.net (good website)

I had a physician buddy of mine read this post and he verified all the facts.  Be free from societal pressure, don’t wash in that nasty sink!

To avoid germs from all other office sources, you’ll either have to wear gloves or use hand-sanitizer about every 3 minutes.

I know you don’t wash before you brush your teeth….Nasty.

See the a germ study here:

http://www.multivu.com/mnr/56343-kimberly-clark-study-kitchens-break-rooms-crawling-with-bacteria-germs

Blood Makes the Grass Grow at the Olympics

Posted: July 29, 2012 by Dave B. in Government, Life
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Georgia upset to win a Gold in Judo this year. Perhaps a symbol of the country’s spirit as they are a contested and embattled nation.  Photo Courtesy:  NBC

It hasn’t been until recently that I have enough context to appreciate the Olympics.  As I grew up, it was just sports. Most of the time boring sports, without the wild commercialism that we, as Americans, enjoy in professional sports.

History though, tells a different story.  It’s more than sports.

Let’s take for instance the tensions that remain with Georgia, Russia and Azerbaijan.  Russia invaded Georgia just a few years ago, ethnic division and border tensions exist today.

When they meet on the wrestling mat, isn’t there a heightened significance? A Georgian Officer once told me that the pages of his country’s history are wet with blood, the Russian Minister of Defense calls Georgia, “Their archenemy.”

Will Croatia and Serbia face off in a bloody handball match or just continue their historic strife? The hatred goes back way before the US was even a twinkle in the eye of Great Britain.

http://www.nytimes.com/1991/05/16/world/the-serbs-and-croats-so-much-in-common-including-hate.html

Will Turkey and Armenia square off?  The Turks still reject any notion of a genocide while the Armenians demand acknowledgement for their 1.5 Million slaughtered.

We learned what North Korea thinks about the South Korean flag hanging at their games.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/north-korean-womens-soccer-team-back-in-seclusion-after-flag-mix-up-organizers-apologize/2012/07/26/gJQAsVnJBX_story.html

Israel and anyone?  According to some Iranian officials all Israelis are dogs (or is it pigs?) and they should be destroyed.

With context, the Olympics are a little more exciting and interesting.  In the span of the history of the world, our country is just a baby.  We are a new kid on the block; blood runs deep but not as deep as many.

Some of the countries that will compete in London have lost generations of men over and again due to the deep, indelible feuds they continue; its more than just soccer….or, futbol.

Chick-fil-A and the Homosexual Social Media Dilemma

Posted: July 25, 2012 by Dave B. in Government, Life
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This sandwich is sexual orientation neutral according to Chik fil A’s Facebook.

My kids like Chick fil A, they like the food and the ice cream that often follows.  I like it too (not in excess, see the More or Less Diet).  The restaurant being closed on Sundays is a little bit of a pain in the ass, but whatever works.

So, their opposition to gays aside; take a look at this disastrous social media venture:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2012/07/25/chick-fil-a-has-completely-lost-control-of-its-facebook-page/

Basically, they made an official statement trying to show that they are not discriminatory and they just want to go back to making good food; well, they got 28,856 comments back (at the time that I checked).

That’s tough.

I’ve been in a similar social media situation.  We posted something supportive of one of our organizational and national initiatives and received mixed feedback, some of it very critical.  Some of the PR guys at our higher headquarters, asked us to delete the critical remarks.

Answer:  No.

The deal with social media is that it has got to police itself.  We edit and delete inflammatory, abusive or offensive remarks but not simply remarks in opposition.  Let the crowds sort it out.  If the host gets into censorship then it’s no longer social media, it’s just advertising and people don’t go on your Facebook page just to look at advertising, they go to join the conversation; however useless it is.

So, my hats off to the Chick fil A PR guy for not locking down his page, although I’m sure many non-PR people suggested that he do so.  If someone did pose as teenage girl, Abby Farle; bad move!  Like I said, social media will police itself, and it did!

Nice move on the Peach Shakes though.

Introducing a New Diet to the World’s Fattest Nation!

Posted: July 19, 2012 by Dave B. in Health and Fitness
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The More and Less Diet can work for you too!

After much research and tireless experimentation I am happy to say I have come up with a diet that could change the fact that our Nation is the fattest nation in the world; facts cited below.

Yes, we are the fattest; but I have a solution.

It’s called the More and Less Diet.  The problem is that it’s not catchy, like the Paleo Diet that focuses on eating food that neanderthals eat (by the way, you don’t have Celiac Disease, only 1% of the nation does.)  It’s not chic like the South Beach Diet that focuses on eating donuts and meat.  There is no TV show to support it like the Biggest Loser Diet.

I need a way for the cool kids to talk about it at the water cooler.  I need something for the chubby moms to talk about at the pool.  It’s too simple to write a best selling book about it.  What can I do?

Well, here it is:  Exercise more and eat less.

That’s right, that’s all there is to it, eat less and exercise more or vice versa (that’s Latin for the other way around).

Nothing to obsess over, nothing to talk about really; just eat less and exercise more.  Do this for several weeks, it will change your life.  If you’re really chubby, add the term ‘a lot’ in the middle of each aspect of the diet.

I understand that there are exceptions, but before you charge ahead with the Paleo Diet, rush off to Fresh Market to ‘gather’ your food like the neanderthals, please try the More and Less Diet.  Once you lose enough to where you really have to pay attention to your input, then by all means, read the books, buy the plan and go hunting and gathering!  For now, save your money and go for More and Less.

It will get us, as a nation, started in the right direction.  I personally, would like to beat out the UK who places at a lean number 7.

Fattest Developed Nations:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/22/obesity-rates-rising-developed-fattest-world_n_1294212.html#s716405&title=10_Finland

A comparison of ‘Best Diets’:  http://health.usnews.com/best-diet/best-overall-diets  (Strangely enough, the More and Less Diet not included but each diet listed basically uses these tenants.

Picture courtesy of T Nation.

Kim’s many faces…

Posted: July 18, 2012 by Dave B. in Life, Public Affairs
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Our friend and ally (no) Axis of Evil headliner (yes) Kim Jong-un, the new North Korean Leader has 6 new titles (these are real):

  • Marshal of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea
  • First chairman of the National Defense Commission
  • First secretary of the Workers’ Party
  • Chairman of the party’s Central Military Commission
  • Member of the Presidium of the party’s Political Bureau
  • Supreme commander of the Korean People’s Army

Interestingly, I had a lot of these same titles in high school.

Kim’s friends call him ‘Karma Chameleon’ and some of his family calls him ‘Jeff’; he’s also been known to answer to ‘Sam Walton.’

Original article on Jeff’s names:

http://m.csmonitor.com/World/Asia-Pacific/2012/0718/Kim-Jong-un-s-6-super-duper-titles/Marshal-of-the-Democratic-People-s-Republic-of-Korea

The Making of America: True Story

Posted: July 17, 2012 by Dave B. in Leadership, Life
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Are you willing to work?

True Story:

A large area immediately outside my office had to be excavated due to some kind of underground HVAC flooding problem.

The first day was pretty hot.  The guys started to clear the stones then cut into the dirt with a shovel.  It was getting hotter.  A few guys worked on it at first, then as the job expanded the guys had other duties to do and one guy was left to dig.  It was hot.  The man dug and dug.  It was apparent at this point that the shovel he was given was inadequate for the job.  He was in jeans that didn’t fit well and an old t shirt, he just kept digging.

The next day, another guy was on the job.  He was younger, tall and slender.  He dug some when he first arrived but the heat came quick.  He dug a little, stopped for a smoke. Dug a little more, did some texting then his buddy showed up.  He sat on the side of the hole for a bit, smoked and talked then dug a little more.  Someone brought over some Gatorade and a sandwich.  He left earlier in the day than the guy from yesterday.

It rained heavily that night.

The next day the first guy showed up again.  Since it had rained the job site was a bit of a mess.  The hole no longer had perfect edges, it was sloppy and eroded.  The dirt pile was flattened and some was falling back into the hole.  The man did what he could to shovel it out.  He wasn’t having much success.  He grabbed a nearby plastic cup from a fast food restaurant (the big kind that are against the law in NY) that was littered from the past.  The man began using the cup to throw the water out of the hole.  He had to throw it some distance as to avoid it from receding back.  He did this for several hours, even as it started to rain again.

The final day an excavator showed up, now with space to expand the hole.  In a few days, the entire job was finished.  It was covered nicely with new gravel, looking better than when it had started.

I didn’t see Juan or Steve again.

Writing in Parentheticals – A Feminine Practice

Posted: July 16, 2012 by Dave B. in Fatherhood, Public Affairs
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There is little excuse for a man to use parenthetical faces in his correspondence.  Men should simply use words to convey intent and meaning, leaving the faces for the ladies or kids who don’t know better.

If you can’t say it with words, just don’t say it; hide your feelings- you’re better off that way than to use a pair of punctuation marks to make cute faces or figures.

I understand that humans have been using codes to communicate for ages, blah, blah blah.  Let me assure you, emoticons are not the direction we want to go.

I wish, for the purpose of convincing my audience, that I had a more concrete argument but I don’t.  Bottom line:  It’s really lame.

I am glad that emoticon use has seemed to drop.  This is all the more reason to give it up entirely, it’s no longer cool, it’s perfectly lame, or if not lame, feminine at best.

To read more on this strikingly sorry way to convey ideas, see the wiki site:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emoticon

Useful or Useless? You will only know by knowing

Posted: July 10, 2012 by Dave B. in Life
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Sexy Mofo for sure, but average height indeed

This post begins a weekly series of disorganized facts, useful or useless- you decide.

Napoleon, the French imperialist, was average height. Napoleon complex for short people?

In the years leading up to World War I nationalistic tensions were on the rise; a war was imminent.  Paramilitary organizations began to pop up throughout Europe.  The Boy Scouts was created in Britain in  January 1908.   World War I began in July 1914.  Boy Scout motto:  Be Prepared.

The name Starbucks comes from Moby Dick’s Captain Ahab’s first mate, Starbuck.  The execs hoped to name the chain “Pequod” after Ahab’s ship but that sounded like shit.

In the American Revolution we were considered insurgents by the Brits.  On a separate note, during and after the American Civil War a real insurgency raged throughout the South; this created a difficult problem for the occupying North.

Highway confessions; I ran over that sign

Posted: July 9, 2012 by Dave B. in Customer Service, Leadership, Life
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This sign has directed its last patron

So I had a bit of a rough weekend in terms of driving.  I had a hitch mounted cargo carrier on the back of my jeep to haul camping supplies.  I guess I had a hard time judging distances, I blame the heat.

I hit two things:  I ran down a fast food joint’s sign and bumped someones SUV in the parking lot.  There’s a difference.

When I bumped the guy’s car, I felt really bad.  There was barely any damage, a small dent in the rubber probably on its way to popping back out.  I stayed out in the parking lot and waited until he came out of the store and explained what happened and apologized.  He looked at the bump briefly and agreed that it was too small to care about.  We went on our way.

I stopped briefly when I cut a turn too hard and clipped the fast food sign.  It made an awful sound.  Not a full stop, a rolling stop really.  I’m pretty sure the sign was already down and I just finished the job, it was rusty and seemingly sheered off at the base.  I didn’t feel bad though.  As a matter of fact, I was more concerned with any damage to my jeep and wondering why they chose such a poor place for a sign.  Honestly, I laughed  hardily as I drove down the highway, trading jokes with my wife about the situation and my impending arrest.

Here’s what separates the two incidents:

I identified with the SUV owner, even though I’d never met him.  He is a person and deserves to know that his car was bumped.  I was prepared to pay for any damage caused because I wanted to do right by him.

This fast food place is a nameless and faceless corporation.  Their parking lot was unkept and cared about me only enough to get me out of their drive through line.

The fix?

Chain stores need to identify themselves using their people.  Managers should have their pictures up and meet customers.  Clerks should make a bit of small talk and use their names.  It’s an easy fix really and customers will come back because they were treated like people BY people.  It’s not that corporations need to increase the number of self reporting sign runner overs, they need to increase the customer return rate.  Even corporations can be small town shops.

If I had met Bill the manager or even knew his name I may have let them know that I ran their sign over.  I might mention to him that it was really poorly placed though.

Back Yard Birds; Trying to get something for nothing

Posted: July 2, 2012 by Dave B. in Fatherhood
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To quote the 1966, political sci-fi novel, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, by Heinlien:

TANSTAAFL!  There aint no such thing as a free lunch!

What a creative move by our noisy back yard bird friends.  It seems they’ve supported a study to prove that the feline domesticus are hazards.  I’m sure of it- no study required.  They call cats European imports, they didn’t mention that many of the birds that frequent our back yards are too.

An NY Times article on the study:  http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/21/science/21birds.html?_r=1

Did the birds really think that this veritable paradise would come without cost?  Without risk?

My back yard is inviting. I have two different flavors of suet, lots of sunflower seeds, dried blood worms and thistle (if you’re nasty).  For those wanting something different, I’ll occasionally feature a wild bird seed mix.  I even have a clean bird bath to freshen up on those hot summer days.

Here is what the kids and I get out of it:

The Scene:  I appreciate the sound and sights on a great range of southern birds.  The angry mockingbird, the squealing cat bird, the vibrant cardinals and golden finch.

The lessons we share:

Life:  It’s harsh.  Not long ago ‘Daddy Finch’ was plucked from the sky by some type of predator bird, a hawk I think.  He pinned Daddy Finch down then flew off with him, while both of our families (his and mine) watched.  We were having breakfast – so was the hawk.

Life:  It’s a miracle.  We watched as several finch and bluebird broods were laid, hatched and raised.  The kids (chicks) grew to eventually do the same.

Life:  The strong survive.  Every once in a while, my cat will get lucky and score a bird.  The bird victim must have been weak or gotten caught not paying attention, my cat lacks skills and I’ve stacked the odds against him.

I keep my cat lazy and well fed, a bell on his collar unless he pries it off, and beat him if he goes after the nest or the young.

Its a fair trade I think.  Visiting my bird resort has risks.

A message to the birds:  Come.   Come and eat.  Be bold, be cunning, but don’t be foolish.

Nothing in life is free, not birdseed, facebook or even health care.